Frank's Massage

Certified Therapists

• Swedish •Deep Tissue •Sports

$50-1 Hr. $70-11⁄2 Hr.

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AMEX V MC⚫ATM 10a-10p/7 Days Walk-ins Same Day Apts.

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11⁄2 hr. Massage with this ad MON. THURS, ONLY

EXPIRES 1/31/99

1610 WISCONSIN AVE, #1

(202) 965-2838 G'TOWN

(202) 797-8535 DUPONT CIR. 2026 P ST. NW, #4

you

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GREMINGTONS

open

Our kitchen is Wednesday-Sunday 5-11pm DC's BEST BURGERS! Full menu with late-night country breakfast Saturday 8pm-2am

639 Pennsylvania Ave. S.E. 202.543.3113 www.remingtonsdc.com

Sometimes SMALLER is better.

Introducing the 1/8 page ad.

Call Charles Sheeler for more information. 202.638.6830

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HEARSAY

THE RETURN... Ah, Hearsay is back, from a nice, long, well-deserved vacation at the Nathan Lane Sanitarium and Salon for the Terminally In and Out. Hearsay is glad to see Mr. Lane out and about, finally, so that next time it meets him in a Washington bar, as it did in Trumpets some years ago, it can report on it without fear of reproach...

LEATHERING THE WEEKEND... Was that leather Hearsay's two petit nostrils-rejuvenated by a spraying of Nathan Lane Nasal Spritz ("Clears your head so you can come cat")-smelled permeating the Washington landscape? Why, indeed it was. Mid-Atlantic Leather, that is. For a whoooole, sweaty, fun-filled weekend. There were 1,100 men-men in black, men in metal, men in harnesses, men in boots, men in jockstraps, men in uniform, and men with so much curly hair on their buttocks, Hearsay kept seeing visions of Richard Simmons. (Frankly, Hearsay never could understand the attraction of a burly behind-unless it's used for that extra gripping power.) MAL is produced by Hearsay's good friends, The Centaur Motorcycle Club. And among the things the Centaurs do during this weekend of weekends is to elect new officers. Here, then, in an effort to shamelessly drop some important names so that the Centaurs continue to advertise their events with this fine publication, are the new Centaurions! President: Steve "I Don't Care, Just Give Me the Whip!" Kenney... Vice President: Glenn "I'd Like to Buy a Vowel, Please" Mlaker... Treasurer: Jim "I Can Count With My Fingers and My Toes" Raymond... Recording Secretary: Phil "My Bologna Has a Middle Name" Spencley... Corresponding Secretary: John "If Only It Were a D!" Bonnage... Tribune: Tracy "My Life as a Dog" Dryden... Road Captain: George "I Was a Teenage Diana Ross Fan" Seidel... and Centurion: Mel "Teutonic Testicles" Jacobs. Now that Hearsay's gotten that out of the way, it turns its momentary spotlight on Douglas "What I Can't Do With A Light Fixture" Gowin, for his extraordinary job creating the Light Bearing Statue Women for Leather Cocktails. Doug turned Tracks 2000 into a decoland dreamscape. The well-attended cocktails was slightly more historic than usual, due to the arrival of City Councilmembers Jim Graham and David Catania. David had to leave a little early since it was his birthday and he was having a party thrown for him at Nathan's Pizza Lane, where you can get extra cheese with your pepperoni. But Jim remained and officially declared the weekend "Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend in the District of Columbia," which seems to be stating the obvious, but, oh, well, it's not everyday you get to see Jim Graham in public in a dashing leather vest. No handcuffs, though. Of course, he's only been in office for just two weeks....

CANADIAN BACON... For those of you who follow such sashrelated things, here are the results of Sunday's Mr. MidAtlantic Leather Contest. The second runner-up is Mark "Hardly" Innocenzi of Virginia. The first runner-up is Austin "Powers" Masters. And the winner, seen here right at the moment his name was announced (hey, put on all the tight leather you want, underneath it all, she's just a big ol' beauty queen) is Dean Ross, a scrumptious continued on page 14

METRO

WEEKLY

January

21.

1999